Shabath is near, so very briefly:
1. A "miracle" is not required in order to be hayav to thank HaShem for a national salvation. Proof: Purim. See TB 'Arakhin 10b. The word 'nisa' is used by the Talmud, but as we both know, no supernatural miracle took place. Nor did the salvation of Purim come about in the most kosher of manners.
2. From TB M'ghila 14a we see that what counts is salvation from death, or slavery. This would certainly have been the outcome in all the wars we have fought here in recent generations had we not been victorious.
3. Hallel and 'Al HaNisim are said on Hanuka because of the victory in battle which resulted in a major change for the better in our nation's affairs. These victories, however, were not unqualified; the enemy returned and eventually regained control. Many died in those battles, such as El'azar the Macabee.
4. War always results in soldiers, and frequently civilians too, being killed. This is the way of the world. In only one instance, Milhemeth Midhyan (B'midhbar 31:49), do we hear that no-one was killed, which is why they came before Moshe Rabenu. According to your definition, the Allies did not win WW2.
5. WW1 was won by the Allies, even though Germany's will was not broken. Nor was it destroyed.
6. I entirely agree with you that we should have destroyed our enemies on a number of occasions. I hope that one day we shall do so.
7. Even under the worst regimes described in the T'nakh, 'Am Yisrael was always considered a sovereign people until conquered by a foreign nation and driven into Galuth.
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